Friday, May 29, 2009

Lost Generation. Are u part of it?

ready for goosebumps? watch this video, it will really change your perspectives over things.
my Challenge and Change teacher showed this video at the end of the course on Social Trends unit and i always have goosebumps when watching this vid, over and over and over. and now it's your turn ;)
credit to Mr. Gordon Cavannaugh for the amazing video. 
watch and learn people!

organized by it is "a membership organization leading positive social change and delivering value to people" quoted from Google. :)

tell me what u guys think :)

hearts, xo.

House Arrest

I'm currently under House Arrest... studying for exams
TERRIFY me :'( 

may all the best of luck be with me at all times. amen.
hearts, xo.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Life Life Life

so while i've been delaying my study for exams, this is what i've been doing.
-reading and finishing a book
-non stop chatting
-facebook stalking, and
-hang outs with people i love which later will move move move ;(

yes, a lot of people are leaving this month..America, UK, u name it. While all in all, I will be staying here in my beautiful 2 roomed unit apartment in Subang Jaya. Just before i forgot, Kudos to everyone who are leaving.. i will miss you all sooooooo MUCH and i wish you all luck for your future studies
  • my lovely and sometimes pain in my buttocks Sister, Fatso (as I call her). She's leaving and starting another new life in Adelaide, Australia. It's going to be another extreme journey, i tell you. u're gn sob in tears again during the couple of months just like the first time u came here, but you'll be okay :) we all love and proud of you for making a far long journey ahead :). xo
  • Emily Sugiarto is officially leaving me to cope with Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia!!! :'( she was my first ever friend to have stepped in to this delighting country. she was my housemate, course mate, class mate, kitchen mate, room mate, bed mate, u name it. we went through the pains and the funs of Malaysia together. i will will will MISS youuuu.. hu huuu :'( we went through so much, sampe kadang udah ga ada bahan buat di omongin lagi! :) i love youu and u know it.
  • Nandya my former housemate living in Uncle's house, she was the most mature (other than Linda and my Sister), yet the most fun and freaky person I've ever met! i love her to bits, and she's going to be an awsome accountant someday in the UK ;) i will miss you so much cintaaah ;(
  • Bena,Yuda,Shaogi who are also leaving to the UK for transfers in the Uni studies...huuu I will do miss you guys!!! ;(
  • ANNA ADRIANI SOETARSO! she's my best friend who we had been apart for quite some time :( she will be getting her next move to the Big Apple a.k.a New York! taking one of her best subject to study, Art. I will definately miss her because we haven't done so much things together and i miss that so much! :( i love youu and i'll miss you. don't ever forget me when you go BIG out there ;)
  • Julie to Sashquea-whatever University in Philadelphia. i could never pronounce or spell it right, but you know i support you big time and wish you all the luck you need :) i miss youu! and when you become BIG like Anna, stay in touch with me :)
  • Stephanie Marsheila the Princess, will be leaving to Australia as well.. though later in January, but i will do miss her! :(
  • everyone else i love out there who will be starting their Universities, i wish you all the best of luck in the world, and hope we all can meet again some day, successfully :)
anywho, the other day Emily, Via and I were sitting at Ayam Penyet AP eating their lunch and somehow we point off the direction of a deep conversation about religions. All three of us had three different religion, Catholics, Buddhism and me, Islam. and blablabla we discussed about heaven and hell, angels and God, yet we three stayed faithful to the religion we support. 

Although we thought that almost all the beliefs in each religion was the same, i point out that we shouldn't questioned, but stay in believing in what we are taught to believe. 
then Via mentioned about the Buddhist' belief of Reincarnation,life goes around in circle. she said in Buddhism, once you are dead and clear in sins, you go straight to heaven. when it is believed that you are not as clear of sins yet, you are brought back to Earth and become something or someone and lived all over again. Via also mentioned that being brought back to Earth and living on Earth is a Karma. well, you decide. Via said that she didn't feel such thing as karma because in her wise words, "Hidup di dunia itu enak kali! Ga ngerti gw kenapa harus dibilang Karma." well, this is different people's point of view, and no one need to agree on what is being said. though seeing from what Via has point out, I adore her for being confident! she loves her life and isn't afraid of living it. 
i love people who loves their life and living them to its maximum limits. it's a great motivation and to face reality in confidence. speaking of motivation of life, the book i just read was all around that! The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. yes, i finally finished the book :D
in one of the pages it said something about don't live in the past, and stay out of the future. be interested in the present. "Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now." i love that quotation now, and its so motivating. i've always wanted days to end faster or wishing that i could go back to the past, but those are not worth the struggle, because if you can enjoy the present, it is what keeps you happy :).

all the talk about life-cycle and life, reminds me to study business with all its life-cycle theory of leadership shits. AARRRGH. i need my luck on the exams.

hearts, f.

bena, nands, emily, fanny whom i will miss so much
the group at Look Out point. Shaogi,nands and yuda who are leaving

the famous book i just finished reading :)

Monday, May 18, 2009

Let the wind takes you

So after i saw my friend's pictures in facebook, i was jealous. they were all taking photos for yearbook pictures. they all had a very amazing stuff they were wearing. it was just so nice to see. i started commenting each pictures one by one. it was a lovely sight, i couldn't not comment. then almost after each comments i gave, i could see another comment my friends made about how they yelled my name at the very end of the photo session.
"iya Da, tadi pas foto rame2 terakhir, kita teriak 'FIDAAAA!!'"
i was almost speechless and terharu. it was amazing how they still remembered me and still wanted me to took part of the session. although it was not a direct action, but they were willingly remembering me :'). i was always missing a great moment.
Then i went through my past for a while. remembering, reminiscing. i have always been moving back and forth, changing places to live, going to different schools each time, making new friends a lot of time. then i realized, i did miss a lot of great moments! i missed out on finishing Elementary school in Jakarta in 6th grade, instead i had Elementary school graduation in 5th grade. i had a little chance of experiencing Middle school, where many "first times" happened. which was funny, because this afternoon i was talking to Emily who was the first boy i have ever liked, in Middle school, Lari Juhani Laukia. he was then first boyfriend in 8th grade, till i moved away again and experienced first Long Distance relationship. anyway, but that's besides the point. i graduated Middle school in Global Jaya, the only and last year of school there. i took UAN, and signed up for several High schools. all went by smoothly when i picked a school and started over everything. meeting new people in a new environment, new courses and new habits of the school. then after 2 years, i did my next move to the neighbouring country, Malaysia--where again, i started over examining new place, new cultures and diversity, new friends and new environment. 

Only then after tonight, i realized how cowardly I am to escape where life was taking me. for example, i moved to Malaysia most probably to escape UAN, and several friends problem back there. i escaped. see how silly that was? it's awful. then i started thinking, since i've made that decision to leave, i've risked everything that i could have possibly done, yet i didn't. i'm risking of not going to Prom and graduation with my friends in Jakarta. i felt so depressed.

I talked to someone about it though. this person is sometimes a bit of annoyance in the progress, yet helpful at some times. tonight, he was pretty helpful. he asked about why my Personal Message was that way, and asked to tell him the whole story. then i did. i told him, i kept missing out the fun that my friends back home are having. then he said it was the risk that i had taken, so why should i complain? that's true. then he made me feel better by saying to look at the experiences that i had by doing all the moving and all the adapting-to-a-new-place thing. that it builds my own character. it helps to built a character by not depending on someone else all the time, such as parents, but to depend on your self to survive. THEY wouldn't know what we felt here, THEY have no idea how though it is to adapt here. THEY could say "it's only Malaysia, not much different there," but they just don't know. how we solved problems of not having to be able to go out every Saturday night. how we could start viewing that LOOKING GOOD and SOCIALIZED are not always the picture perfect situations you post on Facebook. it is how we adapt to the situations where we could only have fun when money was provided in the ATM, and when there are rides. other than that, we choose to have fun in many different ways.

It made me feel better to actually know that NOT MANY can survive as long as I have. take examples of people who had made it in Malaysia, took some course to study, they couldn't take what was coming for them and in the end, they went back to their home country for good. and never wanting to try to go back. that's what happened to some people. and I should be GRATEFUL that i'm not one of those people. it's shame when you have to waste your parents money to go back and forth and never finish your studies, and it's shame to let people close to you watch you become "unused and unemployed." so before i start giving up on hope and lose track caused by my short time mental break down, He applied some knowledge he learned: it was to make me feel proud and grateful of what i have now and to Let the wind takes you


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Randomness in the Making

hello there..
today was a lovely sunday. starting from having a ridiculously BORING day on the Saturday,,where i found myself checking out other people's blogs and found some serious interesting inspirations, today was great. I went out for some movies at Mid Valley Mega Mall with Reva. i asked him the night before since i know he doesn't have anything to do and because the other people that i know would like to join are busy themselves,,,i asked him.
we watched Star Trek. it was a great movie, not outstanding, but great. it really takes up the whole point of how someone can succeed in the matter of time, with great courage and determination.
that was what happen to Captain Jim Kirk. he showed everyone in the Enterprise that he can become Captain just like his father within 3 years, while others did it in 4. it was great. 
awsome pictures and visual effects..the outer space and the space ship? wuihh,,awsome. but over all the story was so confusing, because i thought there were too much information being said, and my brain couldn't take all of it.hahaha. but i'm sure for people who watched the TV show years ago, they would understand.
hahaha since when i became a movie critics?:P but this is fun anyways. :)
anywhooo...guess who was also playing in this movie, whom i love so much, and i didn't expect him to be in this movie...he played as a Russian 17 year old dude controlling something in the enterprise named Pavel Chekov a.k.a Charlie Bartlett a.k.a ANTON YELCHIN! aaahhhh i love him soooo much! and i love his character in this movie! SUPER HILLARIOUS! :D his Russian accent was the bomb! i love him so much! hahaha.
(click to enlarge pictures)
the Star Trek Enterprise..which is like the spaceship
Star Trek crew. (look how hot Chris Pine is :S)
the ever so ADORABLE and CUTE Pavel Chekov a.k.a Anton Yelchin :)

anywhoo..i'm so pissed off at MSN. it keeps popping out viruses from i don't know where! like for example, a friend of mine went online,then they suddenly become offline, then while they were off, they sent me an offline message saying something to open a certain www site. that's so retarded. and when i open it i'm sure virus will spread around my laptop. argh. so mad! and it's not like it's popping out in some time, but this is pretty often! and from different people each day! huaahh. what to do right? i'll just bear with it for now. 

anywhooo (again)... i was inspired to do this thing, which i know is quite ridiculous, but it's just for fun. ahaha. i got it from a blog i'm starting to follow, The Blog of CasseyBunn. i'm starting to love her...i love reading her blog. hihihi :) but i will have to post that one thing later..cuz i've gots no time today. toodles.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

what to say, what to do

what to say, what to do? i'm basically speechless today. i have barely nothing to talk about, except it's family vacation.

oui, family from Jakarta are here. there are mom(again), Zaki(my brother), Tania and Risyad, their parents (om Bambang and Tante Fira), and Maktuo Rita. weww big group right there ritee?! yep. they're all here on vacation. they are here for a week to visit my sister and I here, in amazingly beautiful Subang Jaya. beautiful is just there for show..don't take it seriously.hahah

and anyways,,they're all going to Singapore tmrw for a night and coming back on Thursday. basically they're all here to shop shop shop ;) know how we Indonesian shop in neighbouring countries...Vincci and IKEA is the main
and so anyway, beside that point, I AM NOT going to Singapore with them because I have CLASS!!! hix hix. so i'm not coming along, and it sucks! i have to stay in beautiful Subang to do my work and start doing that debate discussion which we will have on Thursday and I am not prepared at all. i'm suppose to do the research right now, but failed to do so because....i'm procrastinating with writing this

what ever, i will do the research worries. 
i really don't know what else to say..but here are some pictures...

---nvermind...there won't be any pictures rite now,,my internet is slow as a snail...would have to do it sometime later.

xo, F.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

recent obsession

Currently listening: Jamrud- Pelangi Di Matamu

"ada pelangi, di bola matamuuuu..(8)"

yeay yeay..that song can keep going on and on and on, on my head right now. also with the fact that i'm listening to it this very moment. :)

anywhoooo..guess what i've been google-ing for the past days.

obsessed much?
hahah yup, you guessed it. I am currently obsessing over this GORGEOUS woman! elle s'appelle Alexa Chung. She's a British TV presenter and currently an awsome Fashionable woman. 
but i'm not obsessed of her job or her sense of style, it's her HAIR that i'm eyeing on! hahah. and of course, she's a really cute pretty and talented girl and great to be Idolized. :)
anyways,,yes, yes...i just love how cute she looks with that hairstyle. Plus, i'm planning to cut and redone my hair, and i just looked up to her for that! hihihi. So what'd ya think? should I cut it like her? i love how it's short and messy and so so sexy. hahah :) i can't stand neat hair anyway. so that's what my plan is for the upcoming month or two. I'm still not sure whether to cut it here or back in Jkt. I just don't get the guts to cut it now though,, sayaaannggg bangett!! especially when my hair is already this long! and i never had my hair long ever!! :P
well, i still got time to think over and over,,but yes, definately I WILL cut my hair like this :) just wait up.


Monday, May 4, 2009

Cannot Cannot

huaaaaawwww :( i can't studyyyy!! :( why is it so hard to keep my head on the same page.
why should my head keep wonders around like a butterfly looking for a freaking nectar on flowers. 
i just won't let it do!

Ya Allah...bantulah aku focus ke pelajaranku ya Allah :( i really need to work hard.. i really don't want to fail. huuuhuu. Amiin. 

Friday, May 1, 2009

I don't want to post Depressing posts :(

(btw, on the side note, blogs are not meant to be understood.)
no, i really really don't. i really don't want to post depressing post. but how else am i suppose to break out of all the sadness?

"i'm in the verge of letting go and wanting back"

i really don't like discussing about it. i'll just have to skip to the main points then.

  1. what position are we actually in right now?
  2. you're too nice to me. I will be okay, if it means i'll have to suffer to be distant from you.
  3. we're going through uncertainty over and over and over
  4. i keep going back to the same topic to SHAKE you
  5. i keep going back to the same topic to EMPHASIZE to you
  6. i keep going back to the same topic to OPEN your head
-- i hate going through uncertainty.
maybe i am selfish. maybe i just want people to look at me as if i was UP and ABOVE. but that's not all the case. this is my feelings towards you, and it's still the same as it was before. it kills me when i know things are not going to be the same. it is all different from now on. i understand.