Monday, November 9, 2009

long time no see

HAI! ;)
long time no see eh? haven't even opened this blog for such a LONG time! anywhooo i promise ill update soon oh soon! and i need too! :)
alritey, that's all for now. mwah

xo, F <3

Thursday, August 27, 2009

a tiny remark

i was just thinking...wondering. And this is definitely a super random thought:

my grandparents, Andung dan Gaek..they are two different people! But they stayed so close to one another and could not bear without each other's company. They are a sweet sweet couple. But okay,,this was what i was thinking:
andung and gaek could stay together because they complete one another. Andung may not like to cook as most women do, but she cleans so well. And the cooking part,well that's Gaek's that's what i mean by they complete each other..

And as for my random thought.
i was thinking. Gw ini tercipta PEMALAS lho! I might as well confess now or regret later. Yes i am. I am lazy. berpikir utk masak aja males, gmn mau masak bnran? Then comes to cleaning, i am not the cleanest person alive! Sweeping and mopping? Err puhleasee as much as i'd love to use the tools, i'd rather not even touch them. Hahaha imagine what kind of guy would wanna be my husband rite??Lol i wonder too sometimes. but if there is one thing i might as well be proud of myself?? I would proudly say that I AM BRAVE! I am! Imagine living all by yrself in a whole 2 rooms apartment unit. Living here for over 6 months? Wouldnt u wanna be called brave?? Yea, i am all alone and by myself. But this is part of my learning. I learn to become independent and not rely on others. And this is what i love about myself. Is that im not afraid of what i go through. well, I wouldn't say i'm not afraid of anything, but so far..this is what i got.
Anyways,those are super random thought. Good nite all.

(this post is dedicated for the most amazing grandparents ever :) they're coming this 31st of Aug. although i know i might not be the most thrilling grandchild, but i love you both to bits :'))

Xo. Love, f.

Monday, August 17, 2009

i admire myself :)

i was browsing and cleaning up my USB device when i found a file. it is a video which i made almost a year ago. in December to be precise. i remembered i struggled through editing the video and i almost gave up. but if it was not for my motivation, hard working and loving heart that i could finish this video and actually showed it to someone who deserved it.
i could have post this somewhere in Facebook where everyone including the person i made the video to could see it, but i just don't have anymore guts. especially knowing i will definitely embarrased this person. enjoy :)

even though i miss the moment, but it is the people who helped out that i miss most!! :') it's crazy how Emily would crack me up everytime i see this vid. :D hahaha.
oh and i totally admire myself for doing a great job of editing was such a panick attack when i realized when i was doing the editing, i went on and converted the video to a program that could play it. but when i finally converted it, all the videos were only shown HALF WAY. i panicked i could not finish and post it on time for the birthday boy, but then again..i did stopped for a sec, and start over...and this is the result. i was so proud of myself! and still am! :D hihihiy.

lovee,, f.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Kalian yang Terindah

so as a lot of people may already know..(or not), i have already graduated from ICPU, which means i should go straight doing a degree. and now here i am in the second week of University doing a degree called Bachelor of Arts (Multimedia Studies) under the courses of University of South Australia or in short, UniSA.
classes have already began, and at first i was in shock of how much assignments they gave out in just the first week of college. but then i realize, those teachers and councellors were not kidding about the whole, "This is a Degree! it is hard, bla bla bla." i need to keep my head straight now and considering about the future that holds for me.

anyways, when i went back to Jakarta i met with a lot of my high school friends. we went out a couple of times and enjoying the break that we all needed. they needed for a refreshment out of graduating high school, and me..well, for a refreshment of everything i had gone through in Malaysia. and before we all will go our seperate ways in University and College, we definitely will miss everything about high school and the lives we used to live before. it was finally the time to grow up and break out from our shells.

Dita Permata Ayu wrote this note as sort of a remembrance, a warning and as a memory all together. I definitely miss those guys in class that i love so much and only get to see twice a year or so :'(. this poem is called, Kalian yang Terindah (You guys are the most Beautiful)

ini saatnya kita menjalani hidup semakin berat, menuju suatu saat dimana kita menjadi hebat
ini saatnya kita membuat semuanya lebih berwarna, dengan suatu harapan disanalah harusnya kita berada
ini saatnya kita merasakan semua hanya biasa, tetapi kita butuh mereka
ini saatnya kita menerima semua perubahan yang ada, untuk menjadi manusia yang sempurna

mungkin ini gundah, mungkin ini resah
aku tidak menyangka begitu hebat kalian membuat pipi ini basah
mungkin ini kesal, mungkin ini sesal
berharap memutar waktu saat tawa bersama terasa kental

jangan berkata kita berpisah, kita hanya pindah ke tempat yang lebih indah
jangan berkata kita merana, kita hanya berusaha menjalani hidup apa adanya

kalian yang terhebat, sesuatu yang aku punya tanpa batas tanpa penat
kalian yang tercinta, sesuatu yang berharga untuk manusia sepertiku yang berharap esok akan ada
kalian yang tersayang, sesuatu yang menjinakkan amarah sesuatu yang membelai resah
kalian yang terindah, sesuatu yang tercipta dari segumpal darah yang sangat megah

thanks for tagging me in your note Dit, wish you and all of us the best of luck as we go on to our journey ahead. let's keep on reminding ourselves that Life is a journey, and everyday is full of new experiences ahead.

(IPA satu group--minus some people, after a day spent at Ruben's house 09.07.09)

love, Fida.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


i've pretended i was okay with all the situation.
i've grown to the fact that we are in a different status.
i've told myself i can totally get over you.
but infact...
to be honest,

I'm kinda missing you here..

*but this does not change the fact that i've felt more free and have less priority :)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

desperately seeking attention ;)

and i know i love them to bits.
they are one heck of a family!
enjoy.. :)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

recent tricks

so maybe i've been enjoying too much of Jakarta till it had made me become a lazy blog updater :P.

so lets see what's been up lately..hmmm
point no.1: Jakarta's been a blast!
seeing old friends, meeting new ppl, getting together with my best friends and family had just been the best part of going back home. it's going to be too hard to leave this place again and actually start another new step ahead without the same people i used to work around with.

point no.2: there are new hook ups and break up.
i dunno why i'm pointing this out but suddenly i feel like i need to show off and congratz to miss Nands and mr. Shaog for coming out and telling the whole world they're finally an item ;). Shirley and Edo, which i apperently only knew about the news today (which by the way totally broke my heart that they didn't tell me) came out and celebrated on the 28th of June ;). i'm really totally happy for u guys and hopes a really great future out there for all of you:)
while the break up news..well,,let's just say things are definately a lot different between me and --you can guess who--lol. and i'm most definately having a ball! i feel free to do anything i like without worrying about someone who is worrying about me on the other side :) i'm living a peaceful life at the moment and thankfully it's enjoyable:)

point no. 3: a lot, i mean a LOT of people are breaking free from the lives they used to live. everybody's going their seperate ways and entering new phases of precious moments.
my sister left for Australia just today after we all had waved our good byes at Cengkareng yesterday to leave her and my parents flying to KL for a day to vote and now they're on their way to enter the new country with wonderfully new nerves. she's reentering a life phase where she's trying to cope with new surroundings and adapting to a whole different environment.
not only my sister is going through that phase, I will also be introduced to that phase by entering university this August. so does my friends around my age. i met a lot of them here in Jakarta and most of them are going off to different universities and escaping the high school lives to connect with Uni lives soon. some of the people i knew are also going off abroad for the first time for their Uni, and i can assure them that it will be a pretty tough time at first but will get used to everything else in the end. :)

point no.4: i really need to maximize the use of my times here in Jakarta.
PARAAAHH! i've only seen my bestfriend for only 2 times while i was here in Jakarta and having to meet a lot of old friends here sucks! i could only seen some of them once or twice. then made another plan with them which i know i couldnt make. it suckksss!!! i love my friends to death, and i wish i have more time to spend with them all :( huuaa wishh me luck as i schedules my days to meet people i love :)

point no.5: i dunno why and i just realized that i've been writing long posts while it is past midnight.haha i guess my brain works well these time of day. ;)
oh yea, we had a President Election Vote today and guess what? today was my first time being eligable to vote! :D i'm so excited to feel like whether it was only a small voice of mine, i could actually made something happen! it feels great when your voices are heard! hihihiy. SBY harus Lanjutkan! :)

*recent tricks: i've been reading some article about doing a magic trick and i've been learning some card tricks too. and it's so fun to performed it to my little cousins :)

xo, F.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Pardon me, but I'm another step AHEAD! :)

so this is just a repost of what i wrote in my Facebook account.

Alhamdulillah bgt hari ini tepat jam 6 kurang barusan, tmnku bilang.. "yg Graduating udah di bb7 tuh! udah cek?" and i was like, HOLY SH***!! i got so nervous and she told me to check for herself as well, since she cant open the file through her computer. So right that very moment, i logged on:
checked the Announcement box, and there it was. "Graduates List June 2009." i panicked, while clicking the tab. and this was shown:

it told me to click on the attachment and see.
while chatting with my friend, i told her,,"OMGSHH!! IM SO NERVOUS TO SEE IT!!" and she was like, "yeaa! would my name be in there?" woww.
then i opened the attachment and scrolled down slowly...
Graduates List Morning Session:
and..there it was

huaa it made me panicked. then i checked everyone else that i know,,and they are also graduating like me!! i was soo excited!!! i called Emily right away, cuz she was the one who wasn't expecting a passing grade, since she thinks she screwed up her math exams! but noooooo...

she is graduating too! i wont let her NOT graduate with me, since after all...we go waayyyy back! ahaha!

anyways, this is to spread the joy to everyone! and for everyone who are graduating, CONGRATULATIONS!!! and please go to Portals to check whether your name is there! :)

Friday, June 5, 2009

The Aftermath..

so, exams are done with and over. now i'm basically jobless and have nothing to do in this beautiful Subang to the Jaya!hahah. thankfully i had put up some lists of things to do in this very and extremely boring phase of life.
my First Plan
after exams, these are what i wanted to do:
  1. Clean my room! yes, studying and stressing out for exams are like the number one reason to leave your room a mess. I need to start picking up that broom and mop and start sweeping like i just don't care! hahah.
  2. Creambath! my hair is yelling out for treatment for over months now..and i really need to fulfill it's needs. Strawberry creambath, on the way! :)
  3. Work-out catch ups! Swimming pool is only about 4 floors down, and it's such a waste not to take my chance to enjoy it.
  4. Catching up with the TV shows! actually, there's only one show that i wanted to start watching and catching up. Skins, that Anna had requested me to watch.
  5. Take a power walk accross the city! yes, i do mean going and getting around the city while i've got the chance. Masjid Jamek and the Curve are the destinations to fulfill.
  6. Spent time with Emily Sugiarto since she's leaving and moving away. hmm yeap. since i wont probably see her much back in Jakarta. 
  7. Sleep Sleep and Sleep. Enjoying a good rest and catch up with nice dreams are never wrong to do when you're jobless.
then,, Emily has been spending her days and investing stuff over at my place, we decided to have something else planned. we have plenty of time til our ICPU Graduation on Thursday, 11th June, so we decided to waste it by touring around the city :)
our Second Plan
  • Saturday: Emily goes to BB with her friends, while I will be catching up with my first plan :)
  • Sunday: The Curve and IKEA.
  • Monday: ICPU Prom
  • Tuesday: Masjid Jamek and Pasar Seni 
  • Wednesday: Subang Jaya tour and Emily's last day to take photographs in our lovely Subang (TAYLOR'S sign, Reza in My parents will be arriving on this day to come to my Graduation and takes care of my sister's move
  • Thursday: GRADUATION baby!! :) hopefully we'll all graduated with great marks. Amen.
those are our plan, but still dunno if we will actually do it all. but it's a pretty satisfying plan. :)

hearts, xo.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

ANTOONNNN!!! pacarkuu


he is in the movie Terminator Salvation, and i was dropping dead at the cinema watching him :') 
i love him tooooo MUCH. sigh. 


Friday, May 29, 2009

Lost Generation. Are u part of it?

ready for goosebumps? watch this video, it will really change your perspectives over things.
my Challenge and Change teacher showed this video at the end of the course on Social Trends unit and i always have goosebumps when watching this vid, over and over and over. and now it's your turn ;)
credit to Mr. Gordon Cavannaugh for the amazing video. 
watch and learn people!

organized by it is "a membership organization leading positive social change and delivering value to people" quoted from Google. :)

tell me what u guys think :)

hearts, xo.

House Arrest

I'm currently under House Arrest... studying for exams
TERRIFY me :'( 

may all the best of luck be with me at all times. amen.
hearts, xo.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Life Life Life

so while i've been delaying my study for exams, this is what i've been doing.
-reading and finishing a book
-non stop chatting
-facebook stalking, and
-hang outs with people i love which later will move move move ;(

yes, a lot of people are leaving this month..America, UK, u name it. While all in all, I will be staying here in my beautiful 2 roomed unit apartment in Subang Jaya. Just before i forgot, Kudos to everyone who are leaving.. i will miss you all sooooooo MUCH and i wish you all luck for your future studies
  • my lovely and sometimes pain in my buttocks Sister, Fatso (as I call her). She's leaving and starting another new life in Adelaide, Australia. It's going to be another extreme journey, i tell you. u're gn sob in tears again during the couple of months just like the first time u came here, but you'll be okay :) we all love and proud of you for making a far long journey ahead :). xo
  • Emily Sugiarto is officially leaving me to cope with Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia!!! :'( she was my first ever friend to have stepped in to this delighting country. she was my housemate, course mate, class mate, kitchen mate, room mate, bed mate, u name it. we went through the pains and the funs of Malaysia together. i will will will MISS youuuu.. hu huuu :'( we went through so much, sampe kadang udah ga ada bahan buat di omongin lagi! :) i love youu and u know it.
  • Nandya my former housemate living in Uncle's house, she was the most mature (other than Linda and my Sister), yet the most fun and freaky person I've ever met! i love her to bits, and she's going to be an awsome accountant someday in the UK ;) i will miss you so much cintaaah ;(
  • Bena,Yuda,Shaogi who are also leaving to the UK for transfers in the Uni studies...huuu I will do miss you guys!!! ;(
  • ANNA ADRIANI SOETARSO! she's my best friend who we had been apart for quite some time :( she will be getting her next move to the Big Apple a.k.a New York! taking one of her best subject to study, Art. I will definately miss her because we haven't done so much things together and i miss that so much! :( i love youu and i'll miss you. don't ever forget me when you go BIG out there ;)
  • Julie to Sashquea-whatever University in Philadelphia. i could never pronounce or spell it right, but you know i support you big time and wish you all the luck you need :) i miss youu! and when you become BIG like Anna, stay in touch with me :)
  • Stephanie Marsheila the Princess, will be leaving to Australia as well.. though later in January, but i will do miss her! :(
  • everyone else i love out there who will be starting their Universities, i wish you all the best of luck in the world, and hope we all can meet again some day, successfully :)
anywho, the other day Emily, Via and I were sitting at Ayam Penyet AP eating their lunch and somehow we point off the direction of a deep conversation about religions. All three of us had three different religion, Catholics, Buddhism and me, Islam. and blablabla we discussed about heaven and hell, angels and God, yet we three stayed faithful to the religion we support. 

Although we thought that almost all the beliefs in each religion was the same, i point out that we shouldn't questioned, but stay in believing in what we are taught to believe. 
then Via mentioned about the Buddhist' belief of Reincarnation,life goes around in circle. she said in Buddhism, once you are dead and clear in sins, you go straight to heaven. when it is believed that you are not as clear of sins yet, you are brought back to Earth and become something or someone and lived all over again. Via also mentioned that being brought back to Earth and living on Earth is a Karma. well, you decide. Via said that she didn't feel such thing as karma because in her wise words, "Hidup di dunia itu enak kali! Ga ngerti gw kenapa harus dibilang Karma." well, this is different people's point of view, and no one need to agree on what is being said. though seeing from what Via has point out, I adore her for being confident! she loves her life and isn't afraid of living it. 
i love people who loves their life and living them to its maximum limits. it's a great motivation and to face reality in confidence. speaking of motivation of life, the book i just read was all around that! The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. yes, i finally finished the book :D
in one of the pages it said something about don't live in the past, and stay out of the future. be interested in the present. "Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now." i love that quotation now, and its so motivating. i've always wanted days to end faster or wishing that i could go back to the past, but those are not worth the struggle, because if you can enjoy the present, it is what keeps you happy :).

all the talk about life-cycle and life, reminds me to study business with all its life-cycle theory of leadership shits. AARRRGH. i need my luck on the exams.

hearts, f.

bena, nands, emily, fanny whom i will miss so much
the group at Look Out point. Shaogi,nands and yuda who are leaving

the famous book i just finished reading :)

Monday, May 18, 2009

Let the wind takes you

So after i saw my friend's pictures in facebook, i was jealous. they were all taking photos for yearbook pictures. they all had a very amazing stuff they were wearing. it was just so nice to see. i started commenting each pictures one by one. it was a lovely sight, i couldn't not comment. then almost after each comments i gave, i could see another comment my friends made about how they yelled my name at the very end of the photo session.
"iya Da, tadi pas foto rame2 terakhir, kita teriak 'FIDAAAA!!'"
i was almost speechless and terharu. it was amazing how they still remembered me and still wanted me to took part of the session. although it was not a direct action, but they were willingly remembering me :'). i was always missing a great moment.
Then i went through my past for a while. remembering, reminiscing. i have always been moving back and forth, changing places to live, going to different schools each time, making new friends a lot of time. then i realized, i did miss a lot of great moments! i missed out on finishing Elementary school in Jakarta in 6th grade, instead i had Elementary school graduation in 5th grade. i had a little chance of experiencing Middle school, where many "first times" happened. which was funny, because this afternoon i was talking to Emily who was the first boy i have ever liked, in Middle school, Lari Juhani Laukia. he was then first boyfriend in 8th grade, till i moved away again and experienced first Long Distance relationship. anyway, but that's besides the point. i graduated Middle school in Global Jaya, the only and last year of school there. i took UAN, and signed up for several High schools. all went by smoothly when i picked a school and started over everything. meeting new people in a new environment, new courses and new habits of the school. then after 2 years, i did my next move to the neighbouring country, Malaysia--where again, i started over examining new place, new cultures and diversity, new friends and new environment. 

Only then after tonight, i realized how cowardly I am to escape where life was taking me. for example, i moved to Malaysia most probably to escape UAN, and several friends problem back there. i escaped. see how silly that was? it's awful. then i started thinking, since i've made that decision to leave, i've risked everything that i could have possibly done, yet i didn't. i'm risking of not going to Prom and graduation with my friends in Jakarta. i felt so depressed.

I talked to someone about it though. this person is sometimes a bit of annoyance in the progress, yet helpful at some times. tonight, he was pretty helpful. he asked about why my Personal Message was that way, and asked to tell him the whole story. then i did. i told him, i kept missing out the fun that my friends back home are having. then he said it was the risk that i had taken, so why should i complain? that's true. then he made me feel better by saying to look at the experiences that i had by doing all the moving and all the adapting-to-a-new-place thing. that it builds my own character. it helps to built a character by not depending on someone else all the time, such as parents, but to depend on your self to survive. THEY wouldn't know what we felt here, THEY have no idea how though it is to adapt here. THEY could say "it's only Malaysia, not much different there," but they just don't know. how we solved problems of not having to be able to go out every Saturday night. how we could start viewing that LOOKING GOOD and SOCIALIZED are not always the picture perfect situations you post on Facebook. it is how we adapt to the situations where we could only have fun when money was provided in the ATM, and when there are rides. other than that, we choose to have fun in many different ways.

It made me feel better to actually know that NOT MANY can survive as long as I have. take examples of people who had made it in Malaysia, took some course to study, they couldn't take what was coming for them and in the end, they went back to their home country for good. and never wanting to try to go back. that's what happened to some people. and I should be GRATEFUL that i'm not one of those people. it's shame when you have to waste your parents money to go back and forth and never finish your studies, and it's shame to let people close to you watch you become "unused and unemployed." so before i start giving up on hope and lose track caused by my short time mental break down, He applied some knowledge he learned: it was to make me feel proud and grateful of what i have now and to Let the wind takes you


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Randomness in the Making

hello there..
today was a lovely sunday. starting from having a ridiculously BORING day on the Saturday,,where i found myself checking out other people's blogs and found some serious interesting inspirations, today was great. I went out for some movies at Mid Valley Mega Mall with Reva. i asked him the night before since i know he doesn't have anything to do and because the other people that i know would like to join are busy themselves,,,i asked him.
we watched Star Trek. it was a great movie, not outstanding, but great. it really takes up the whole point of how someone can succeed in the matter of time, with great courage and determination.
that was what happen to Captain Jim Kirk. he showed everyone in the Enterprise that he can become Captain just like his father within 3 years, while others did it in 4. it was great. 
awsome pictures and visual effects..the outer space and the space ship? wuihh,,awsome. but over all the story was so confusing, because i thought there were too much information being said, and my brain couldn't take all of it.hahaha. but i'm sure for people who watched the TV show years ago, they would understand.
hahaha since when i became a movie critics?:P but this is fun anyways. :)
anywhooo...guess who was also playing in this movie, whom i love so much, and i didn't expect him to be in this movie...he played as a Russian 17 year old dude controlling something in the enterprise named Pavel Chekov a.k.a Charlie Bartlett a.k.a ANTON YELCHIN! aaahhhh i love him soooo much! and i love his character in this movie! SUPER HILLARIOUS! :D his Russian accent was the bomb! i love him so much! hahaha.
(click to enlarge pictures)
the Star Trek Enterprise..which is like the spaceship
Star Trek crew. (look how hot Chris Pine is :S)
the ever so ADORABLE and CUTE Pavel Chekov a.k.a Anton Yelchin :)

anywhoo..i'm so pissed off at MSN. it keeps popping out viruses from i don't know where! like for example, a friend of mine went online,then they suddenly become offline, then while they were off, they sent me an offline message saying something to open a certain www site. that's so retarded. and when i open it i'm sure virus will spread around my laptop. argh. so mad! and it's not like it's popping out in some time, but this is pretty often! and from different people each day! huaahh. what to do right? i'll just bear with it for now. 

anywhooo (again)... i was inspired to do this thing, which i know is quite ridiculous, but it's just for fun. ahaha. i got it from a blog i'm starting to follow, The Blog of CasseyBunn. i'm starting to love her...i love reading her blog. hihihi :) but i will have to post that one thing later..cuz i've gots no time today. toodles.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

what to say, what to do

what to say, what to do? i'm basically speechless today. i have barely nothing to talk about, except it's family vacation.

oui, family from Jakarta are here. there are mom(again), Zaki(my brother), Tania and Risyad, their parents (om Bambang and Tante Fira), and Maktuo Rita. weww big group right there ritee?! yep. they're all here on vacation. they are here for a week to visit my sister and I here, in amazingly beautiful Subang Jaya. beautiful is just there for show..don't take it seriously.hahah

and anyways,,they're all going to Singapore tmrw for a night and coming back on Thursday. basically they're all here to shop shop shop ;) know how we Indonesian shop in neighbouring countries...Vincci and IKEA is the main
and so anyway, beside that point, I AM NOT going to Singapore with them because I have CLASS!!! hix hix. so i'm not coming along, and it sucks! i have to stay in beautiful Subang to do my work and start doing that debate discussion which we will have on Thursday and I am not prepared at all. i'm suppose to do the research right now, but failed to do so because....i'm procrastinating with writing this

what ever, i will do the research worries. 
i really don't know what else to say..but here are some pictures...

---nvermind...there won't be any pictures rite now,,my internet is slow as a snail...would have to do it sometime later.

xo, F.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

recent obsession

Currently listening: Jamrud- Pelangi Di Matamu

"ada pelangi, di bola matamuuuu..(8)"

yeay yeay..that song can keep going on and on and on, on my head right now. also with the fact that i'm listening to it this very moment. :)

anywhoooo..guess what i've been google-ing for the past days.

obsessed much?
hahah yup, you guessed it. I am currently obsessing over this GORGEOUS woman! elle s'appelle Alexa Chung. She's a British TV presenter and currently an awsome Fashionable woman. 
but i'm not obsessed of her job or her sense of style, it's her HAIR that i'm eyeing on! hahah. and of course, she's a really cute pretty and talented girl and great to be Idolized. :)
anyways,,yes, yes...i just love how cute she looks with that hairstyle. Plus, i'm planning to cut and redone my hair, and i just looked up to her for that! hihihi. So what'd ya think? should I cut it like her? i love how it's short and messy and so so sexy. hahah :) i can't stand neat hair anyway. so that's what my plan is for the upcoming month or two. I'm still not sure whether to cut it here or back in Jkt. I just don't get the guts to cut it now though,, sayaaannggg bangett!! especially when my hair is already this long! and i never had my hair long ever!! :P
well, i still got time to think over and over,,but yes, definately I WILL cut my hair like this :) just wait up.


Monday, May 4, 2009

Cannot Cannot

huaaaaawwww :( i can't studyyyy!! :( why is it so hard to keep my head on the same page.
why should my head keep wonders around like a butterfly looking for a freaking nectar on flowers. 
i just won't let it do!

Ya Allah...bantulah aku focus ke pelajaranku ya Allah :( i really need to work hard.. i really don't want to fail. huuuhuu. Amiin. 

Friday, May 1, 2009

I don't want to post Depressing posts :(

(btw, on the side note, blogs are not meant to be understood.)
no, i really really don't. i really don't want to post depressing post. but how else am i suppose to break out of all the sadness?

"i'm in the verge of letting go and wanting back"

i really don't like discussing about it. i'll just have to skip to the main points then.

  1. what position are we actually in right now?
  2. you're too nice to me. I will be okay, if it means i'll have to suffer to be distant from you.
  3. we're going through uncertainty over and over and over
  4. i keep going back to the same topic to SHAKE you
  5. i keep going back to the same topic to EMPHASIZE to you
  6. i keep going back to the same topic to OPEN your head
-- i hate going through uncertainty.
maybe i am selfish. maybe i just want people to look at me as if i was UP and ABOVE. but that's not all the case. this is my feelings towards you, and it's still the same as it was before. it kills me when i know things are not going to be the same. it is all different from now on. i understand. 

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

"Revanantyo Muhammad Jangan tdr malem mulu, mkn yg teratur,jgn minum soda mlm" kalo blm mkn,istirahat yg cukup,sabar tinggal sebulan, u got to fight for what u want, bykin mkn buah biar ga sariawan, rajin" solat dan berdoa karena cm Allah yg bs bantu kalo udh bnr" mentok ok. Pasti bs kok tinggal sebulan lg aja ya.

Je vous remercie de votre bienveillante attention

wasn't expecting something like this to appear in my profile at any of these times,, but i'm glad its there :)
thanks again dear.

Monday, April 27, 2009

tonite we dreamed

there's nothing much to say tonite. this was the first time i'm writing again since a long long time. arr. it's 1:43 am and i'm still very much up and awake. still chatting with Reva and Uncle. pfft. hahaa
uncle is "ceramahin" me with stuff like, "u're only good at internet social skills, but no general knowledge." hahah its true..sure sure.. but pleaseee! ck ckk. also was saying about how i need to drink a big bottle of 100 plus tomorrow! BAAHAHA mau gw beser?! ampuunn.. funny dude that man.
Reva on the other side was admiring my work of making a logo for a product that i'm doing for my business leadership presentation. and saying that, those kind of stuff fits me ;) thanks Rev, wish i could pursue it later on in my life though. then he's blaberring about my ulcer and told me to use a medicine product that i never heard of the name. and he's calling me weird for that! ck ck.. some people just really don't know darling. please understand. hahaha

see, he still keep on saying, "seriously? u don't know? it's like really famous?!" hahaha Reva,, Reva. i do miss him.

i'm currently reading a book called The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. i read only up to page 69, and i'm really enjoying it. such an adventourous story about a young man. thanks to Mr. Farshad Derakshandeh.. my business teacher who gave me this book :) very  very nice man. he gave it on the 21 April 2009. just a date to remember. heheh

well, i'm going to continue reading and continue living my life now,, which reminds me i need to go to beD!! woot.

niteeyy, :)